This blog is a medium for me to vent about how I'm feeling to an almost too honest degree. This is not a cry for help, not something for any of you to freak out about or give me advice about or be insanely condescending to me about. Unless I die. Then it's ALL YOUR FAULT!! (jk)
I think that I am going crazy. Functionality has become a bit of a problem. My house is slowly filling with stuff. Showers are too hard. I shower because I have to. I cope because I have to. I take care of my child because I have to. What happens when I can't any more?
Depression is debilitating. Depression really does hurt (thank you drug company commercials!). I am tired and apathetic. I admit it. I ask God to hit me with a bolt of lightning. (Thunder, so I understand, would not be as effective.) God does not listen.
Religion, faith, prayer, meditation (if I were capable of it) do not work. I'm sure exercise would if I could work up the energy to get my ass out of the house. Tomas is getting take care of three times a week. God help him the other 4. No, I do better when he's here because I have to, though there is that tiny bit of resentment that if it weren't for him I could just stay in bed.
Maybe I just want to go crazy... isn't that crazy?
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9 comments:
OMG I'm freaking out! Are you OK? You will be! YOU WILL BE OK!!! Do you hear me? You're gonna be just fine! Aww, poor little solider, keep marching! YOu're gonna be OK!!!
Are you OK yet?
Girl, take the baby and go for help. Anywhere. Somewhere. Just do it.
Sounds like post partum depression that never went away. Just sayin..
(((Big Hug)))
if it's depression (which I know it is) it's pre-during and post-partum. No it's not related to pregnancy. It just is. Life and stress are it;s main fuels.
ARE U OK???
I AM NOT OK! I AM NOT OK!!
Can you please stop disappearing from me? What on earth!
ARE YOU SURE??? ARE YOU SURE???
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