Norah, it’s not you. It’s me.

I like easy to like music. I like pop-like music. I can listen to Britney Spears and Fiona Apple and Metallica. I can listen to Damien Rice and Tegan and Sara and Psapp. I like Latin Alternative, Rock and Salsa. I like lots of things. I like music that is VERY EASY to like. I buy most top ten selling songs.

For some reason, Norah Jones is not my cup of tea. She writes astoundingly good songs. I want to like them. I really do. I promise. But for some reason I cannot seem to relax when I hear her music. The soft strumming, the easy piano, the airy, jazzy voice… AAAAHHH. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me. And the lyrics are so nice and I would love to WANT to make love to "Come Away with Me." Can you imagine? Outside on a cool fall evening with wine and a picnic and Norah Jones serenading us? Wouldn't it be great?

No, right? It. Would. Suck.

Because Norah, I'm just not that into you. I like a fuller voice with zero breathiness, unless you truly are turned on. Your voice just irritates me. I'm sorry. I really am. Because I so wanted to like you. Everyone else seems to.

(Celebrity) Women I love

1. Before she married Tom Cruise, before really bad horror flicks, there was Dawson's Creek and Katie Holmes. I loved Katie Holmes. I had a serious crush on Katie Holmes. It still hurts that she dumped me for Tom Cruise. Really, what does he have that I don't?

2. I decided that Brad Pitt was my least favorite person when he dumped Jennifer Aniston, as I had a mild, protect her from evil men kind of crush on her. Not the I would die for her kind of crush, just I really think she's hot and would do her... once or twice kind of crush.

3. While I think she's evil and only deserves a one night stand, I can see myself becoming obsessed with Angelina Jolie. A little.

4. I know she's a little mannish, but Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser turns me on. I don't know if it's her arms (which, yes, they are big, but I want them!!) or her commanding, bitchy presence, or that fact that I want her to yell at me... but yes, I have a thing for Jillian Michaels.

Others that I wouldn't mind "meeting":
Danica Patrick, the woman who played Anne of Green Gables, when she was that young, Hermione... when she's older, Amanda Bynes.