F*$# A&$holes

I borrow friends' cars when they go out of town. I have done this many, many times. I use the cars to go do laundry, go to the grocery store, commute, go to church, get around faster.

Well.

I no longer have the most recent car I borrowed. I had it for a day and a half.

Thank you, assholes, for stealing from a borrowed car. There is no way you could have known. Next time you break a window though, try not to get any glass on the car seat meant to hold an 18 month old child. It was very inconvenient to me to not be able to pick him up. Also, try not to break any windows on days that call for rain. It's a rather shitty thing of you to do. Let me know next time you plan on stealing from me. I'd prefer to just leave the door open so that you don't feel the need to break the window.

This week, Tomas had his first taste of real blueberries - well, frozen ones but blueberries not in a muffin or in yogurt but just plain blueberries. This was the result:

A lovely blueberry smile.

Blueberry fingers.

My friend's floor got a bit dirty despite the plate. We tried.

Look, Mom! Look what I did!!

No. 1

Have you ever held it so long that you really, really had to go and could think of nothing else but going?
About halfway on my drive to school this week, the sudden urge to go hit me. It probably wasn't as instant as I would like to think it was. But at the time if felt that suddenly my bladder stood up on my ovaries and made its presence known by saying, "Empty me NOW!!!"

Now, the subject of going has been on my mind because we are introducing "The Potty" this week. My child can now walk and while I am not forcing "The Potty", it should be there so that he can sit on it whenever and display some interest in getting out of a diaper - because those are expensive.

Anyway, back to my bladder. Three miles later, I'm cursing at pedestrians and feeling my eyes cross from the little elves dancing on my bladder. I (finally) reach a bathroom - while a choir sings the HALLELUJAH chorus in my head- and I enter the stall and I GO. (Yay!!!)

So, ever since I was in 12th grade I have had an interesting perspective in relieving myself. When my health teacher was asked what an orgasm feels like he blushed and stammered out this bright idea: "You know how you feel when you've been holding it for too long and then you go, the sense of relief, tension and then letting go? Something like that... but better.

Well, ever since then I've just been holding it for FUN. It's like a mini-orgasm everyday and I don't even have to spend money on a vibrator.